Cleanliness is close to... what?

I have been in the middle of a mass cleansing.  Our house has gotten so out of order from pregnancy, life with a newborn, and a week of company that I was about to go crazy.  I HATE a dirty house.  I've gotten better.  I can actually go to bed now without having the house perfectly cleaned.  (Although, the best sleep I get is when I have the peaceful knowledge that I won't wake up to a mess....)  But it was getting so horrible that it was even starting to bug my husband!  That's when you know things are serious.  For days I have been waiting for my kitchen to be clean enough for me to, well, clean it!  The counters were finally free from the bug houses filled with all sorts of creepy crawly things.  The chairs were wiped down and up on the table.  The floor was vacuumed.  All that was left was mopping.

Just as I was about to start the glorious process of making my floor shine, the girls ran in with their ballet shoes and music.  Of course I love when they dance.  I told them I just needed ten minutes to get the floor cleaned, and then they could dance on a CLEAN floor.  And wouldn't that be so much NICER?!  The response I got was "we don't care if the floor is clean".  They were met with a "well I do!", and were shoved into the playroom for the allotted ten minutes.

While I mopped I contemplated how NO ONE really cares if my house is clean, except for me.  The only people who comment on my clean house are other MOMS.  My kids have never come downstairs in the morning and commented on how much more peaceful the morning is when the house is in order.  My husband has never taken me aside and said that our marriage would be better if the house were cleaner.   While I mopped, I couldn't help but think about how I spend 90% of my time cleaning up and no one in my family even really appreciates it.  (I mean, come on!  Doesn't anyone else want to know that the food we eat off of the floor is clean?!)

 One time I had just mopped my floored when my friend showed up on my doorstep.  She looked at my floor and seemed so depressed by how clean my house was, and how dirty her's was.  When what she should have said was "Loser, your family appreciates you less than mine appreciates me!"
Or she could have been judgemental and said something like "well, I spent the morning reading to my children and acting out scripture stories while you ignored your's to fulfill your own desire for a clean kitchen."  But no, like me, all she cared about what the cleanliness.

SO WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH?!

Is our constant cleaning really a selfless service to our families, or a selfish one to give us the allusion that we actually control something in our lives?  These questions got me thinking about how mothers are so selfless, and how we spend all our time facilitating everyone else's needs.  I started thinking about how I spend all day working on the their needs and getting everything in order so that Todd can come home and PLAY with the kids.  Then I think of fun things for them to do together on Daddy-daughter dates.  I'm constantly trying to facilitate ways for their relationship with their dad to be awesome, despite how little time he has to spend with them.  Yet, who is doing my chores so that I can enjoy my kids?

You guessed it.  It's me who is doing my chores.

Me who is so desperate to feel like my work isn't in vain, that I'm ASKING my kids to eat on the carpet instead of the kitchen floor because I just need one hour to pass without seeing a crumb or a smudge, or any evidence of human life in there.  One meal to feel like the hours of work weren't in vain.  So that if a friend stops by unannounced, she might feel worse about her situation than I do about mine!

So in a nutshell, I spend all my time doing chores that no one cares about or appreciates.

July has been pretty great.  We are half way through summer and still surviving!  I have had so much help from friends and family, and I appreciate it so much!  My girls are learning to be big helpers too.  They loved giving Brandon a bottle.  

Our raspberries are out in full force.  So swing by and pick yourself a bowl anytime!

The best part of summer so far (aside from Brandon being born) is the week that my family was visiting!  Here is Brandon meeting his cousin, Ruby.  I have been anxiously awaiting the time that Hilary and I both had babies.  It did not disappoint.  

During the same week, Bronwyn attended basketball camp.  This is a big deal for a girl with big nerves, and I was so proud of her!  She gets her skills from Todd!

Speaking of Todd and his skills, he climbed Mount Borah with his brother and brother in law.  I am really hoping he will do an entire blog post on the hike...  Hilary and I even made it most of the day without going into panic mode.  :)  We were so glad they went, but mainly happy that they came home!

The next morning was Brandon's baby blessing.  It was such a beautiful blessing, and both of our entire immediate families were there.  I also had some relatives from Canada make it.  It was wonderful!

Here we all are!  I love how Ty is just doing his own thing.  What else would you expect from a 3 year old boy.  I am sooooo glad he got a brother.

The men from the priesthood circle.

That night we had a big party in our backyard.  Hil came up with some fun games for the kids, and we all had the best time!

My grandma and aunt.

Shut up.  She is so cute.

Todd's grandma.

Four generations of awesomeness.  And cooking.  I'm not in this picture because I can't cook worth a darn next to any of these women.  Ruby can probably already cook better than me.

I LOVE jumping on the tramp. And thankfully, my bladder still allows me to.  :)  I was teaching some of the girls toe touches, and a blast was had.

That purple blur is Mags jumping off the playhouse to the tramp.  So fun!

My uncle.

We spent alot of time outside, which made the kids super happy.  If they weren't outside, they were either swimming at the hotel or shopping.  So really, they were constantly happy!

It was impossible to get a good pic with the kids.  They were so hyper anytime they were around Ruby.  But here is the best my camera got.

I knew I would be sad when we said goodbye.  As Hilary was gathering her last few things, I was holding Ruby and she leaned her head on my shoulder and gave me the best snuggles.  That's when I just started to cry.  It's just too hard to say goodbye sometimes.  Then mom started crying, and then even Hilary teared up!  That hardly ever happens, so it made me cry even more.  Later that day I found Bronwyn crying in the bathroom because everyone had left.  So basically, we are totally depressed now and everyone I love needs to move to Boise!

Tonight is one of the worst nights I've had as a parent EVER!  Ty is proving to be more strong willed than Bronwyn, which I honestly didn't think was humanly possible.  (A mother's love really is a remarkable thing, because I am still crazy about him.)  I pretty much grounded my kids from all fun things for the rest of their childhood, so I figured I would do a blog post of the last few fun things we ever did as a family!  

Since Todd and I aren't going on dates this summer (because of the new baby, not because of marital problem!), we planned on Todd taking each kid out on a daddy date on Friday nights.  (Too bad they are grounded from these as well...)  The kids kept asking him to take them to the aquarium, so we just bought the family year pass.  Todd is a trooper and walked the aquarium 4 times in less than 3 weeks!

It is small, but still a ton of fun.  The kids especially loved the sharks and stingrays!  

I am reaching my goal of becoming a baby-wearer.  Brandon loved snuggling me while we were there!

Tomorrow Brandon will be 4 weeks old already.  Since he is such a good napper, and since everyone else wants to hold him, I feel like I hardly spend any time with him. Thank goodness for nursing!

Guess how many times the other kids woke me up during this nap?  

A TON!  

(Can you tell how annoyed I am?!)

This picture cracks me up.  Magsy looks so beautiful and harmless, yet Brandon looks terrified at how she is holding his head, lol!

We opted out of attending the fireworks downtown.  We go every year, but felt Brandon was a little too young for such a big adventure.  So we watched from afar with some of Todd's family.  Didn't hold the kids' attention as well, but was a good compromise.  

The kids loved eating Dairy Queen treats.  Too bad I'll never let them eat treats again!

(insert evil laugh here)

Little did they know they were celebrating their last day of freedom...

Brandon was giving me some smiles today.  We almost got in a camera!  

My Brandon

There's nothing like a new baby to ooh and ah over.  Brandon is a total sweetheart, and overall, is being pretty nice to me.  He has his days and nights figured out, is nursing well, and has the sweetest face.  He makes me so happy.  I just want to hold him tight all the time.  Whenever I see people looking at him, I pridefully remember that he is MINE!  I feel so lucky to be his mom.  

Bronwyn and Magdalen really love their little brother, and fight over him constantly.  They are a little too confident with him, which can make me nervous when Bronwyn thinks she can walk around the house holding him.  But I love the nurturing side it brings out in them.  

Ty continues to wreak havoc constantly.  But he sure does look cute napping with Brandon.  Too bad it was 6 pm and made bedtime a complete disaster!

Todd was totally spoiled on Father's Day, and got to take all 3 big kids to church by himself!  How will I ever come up with a gift next year that tops that one?!  

Doing this post is reminding me that Brandon has only been bathed once since coming home....

Don't judge.

Seriously, could he be any cuter?  

I love him!

So far, this is the only picture of all 6 of us.  We are such a big, mormon family, lol!

My mom spent the week with us, which means I got a nap and a shower every day.  :)  The kids love whenever she comes to town.  We all had a blast together, and the days went by too quickly.  (She did so many fun activities with the big kids, but I don't have pictures of them because I was home napping when they occurred.)   I even felt human most of the time she was here, and right before she left I started feeling like I could handle 4 kids on my own.  Then I remembered that this coming week I will have to cook and run errands, and suddenly I don't feel quite so competent...

Brandon is named after the street I grew up on, and my sister surprised me with this awesome onesie with a picture of our street sign on it!  I totally cried.  Best. Gift. Ever.  

Wish me luck, I'm on my own now!