The Bigelows

The Bigelows
Living the Dream, One Day of Chaos at a Time....

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Wow, Turns Out I Am "Pro-Choice"!

Today I am outraged.  The kind of rage that builds up slowly over time, until one day you literally feel like your head will explode if you don't get all your thoughts out of it.  Today I came across this story: Another of the thousands of stories of good women, trying to do what is best for their family, and being treated like criminals.  This particular woman wanted to try to have a vaginal birth after having previous cesareans.  She was not hell-bent on a vaginal birth, just wanted the opportunity to have the chance to try.  Well, the land of the free took that choice away from her, and also threatened to take away all of her children should she attempt a vaginal birth.  This woman was unfairly pushed into a corner, forced to give birth in a way she did not choose, and threatened.  And I can't tolerate it.

In a country where we are free to choose if our unborn children live or die, why are we not given any governing over how we bring them into the world?!  And why are the safest methods of delivery the ones under attack?  (Well, I have a few guesses, but that's a whole other blog post.  But my guesses certainly don't involve anyone having the woman or child's best interest at heart.)  What does it say about a country when we are fighting more for the right to abort than we are for the right to give birth?  What does that say about how little we value life, children, and women?

It says a lot.  And none of it's good.

In the USA we sure are pro-choice.  You can choose to not only kill your baby before it's born, but there's a plethora of other heinous choices you can make, all of which you won't be judged for, because hey, it's your choice!  You are free to treat your spouse like crap.  You can cheat on them, judge them, put them down, spend their money, and ruin their life in all sorts of safely chosen ways.  You can choose to let your kids eat junk food,  watch inappropriate movies all day, or play violent video games, and not have to worry about anyone threatening to take them away.  You really can choose to just be a down-right, rotten person, or parent.  Here in the land of pro-choice, it is just as acceptable to choose being a crappy person as it is to choose to be a good one.

Well, guess what I choose....


 I choose Womanhood.  Family.  Safe Childbirth.  Natural Parenting.

Chances are, none of these things are as protected as a woman's right to choose none of them.  And to me, that's a load of crap.  A failure of an entire country.  And certainly, a huge disappointment and heartache to God.

Well, if women in this country can choose to abort their babies, other women can choose to give birth to as many children as they want.  Even if that means they go on welfare, or do something really controversial like breastfeed.  If we protect one end of the spectrum, we have to protect the other.

If women can choose elective cesareans, then any woman should be able to choose a vaginal birth.  Especially since it is extremely well documented that cesarean birth is the most dangerous method of delivery.  (Oh right, we don't actually care about health outcomes.)

It is also clearly documented that the US has a horrifically high cesarean rate with some of the WORST birth outcomes in the industrialized world.  Research also shows that VBACS are SAFER than repeat cesareans, yet women have to sign a waiver at a hospital to have a VBAC, and there is no waiver explaining that a repeat cesarean is much more dangerous than a VBAC.  I guess hospitals are also pro-choice, as in they get to choose if they share valuable information with you or not.  Being honest is a pretty scary choice for a hospital, since honesty would probably lead to more vaginal births, and lower hospital bills.

And since when is a vaginal birth a choice?  I'm pretty sure that's how it was designed to work...  It really boggles my mind that woman have to fight for the right to choose to use their private parts for their intended purposes.

So along those lines, if women can choose to flaunt their breasts and sport cleavage anywhere and everywhere, then women can also choose to breastfeed anywhere and everywhere.  A culture that claims to be too conservative to handle breastfeeding should also be disgusted by the over-sexualization of women's breasts that we are bombarded with in the media.

And if women can choose to feed into the sexualization of their breasts, then other women can choose to nourish and comfort with their breasts, without fear of judgement and cruelty.  Same argument for parents who choose to feed their children nothing but junk food.  I've never heard of a woman being kicked out of a park for feeding her kids cheetos, but I've sure heard of it for breastfeeding.  RIDICULOUS!

There are two sides to every coin, and we have completely forgotten the other side of "pro-choice".  Giving one person a choice means that everyone should be given choices.

As women, mothers, and daughters of God, we ALL have the right to CHOOSE.  And if one women is fighting for the right to a healthy and normal birth, we all should be fighting; or someday, our daughters may have NO choice when it comes to giving birth.

Choice with birth also implies that women are capable of making the best choice for themselves, and their babies.  And women definitely are capable of this. The medicalization of birth has made women feel like they don't know how to make the safest choice, and many rely solely on others making their birth decisions for them.  Sadly, American birth outcomes clearly show that these decisions aren't leading to good outcomes.  With proper education and a prayerful heart, I believe that all women can be inspired to make the choices that will ensure safe delivery for their children.  Sometimes it may even be a cesarean birth, and that's wonderful it that's what is truly best.

If "pro-choice" is offered to birthing women, and women are given agency over their birthing experiences, they will be happy no matter what type of birth they have.  They won't feel backed into a corner.  They won't be manipulated, threatened, or intimidated.  At the very LEAST, birthing women should be given as much  respect as the women who chooses not to give birth at all.

Monday, January 27, 2014

January Snuggles


January is always a blah month.  It is cold, dark, and looooong.  We have spent alot of time at home as a family, which for the most part, has actually been pretty good!  ;)  We always have a great time playing ROCKBAND.  It's so much easier than actually learning how to play real instruments.  



We rang in the new year with Tom and Emily.  



We have spent alot of time snuggled up!






And somehow we finally convinced Brandon to keep a hat on!  



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

My Last "Silent Night"

Tonight as I nursed Brandon to sleep, I sang him "Silent Night".  I love singing lullabies to my kids, and I always sing "Silent Night" during the holiday season.  I realized that today was the last Christmas I will ever have a baby to sing "Silent Night" to.  And even though all day I kept thinking about how this is our last Christmas with a baby, and won't things be so much easier when Brandon is older... it still make me get a lump in my throat.  It is bittersweet to think that the baby chapter in my life is coming to a close.  

Even though it is our last Christmas with a baby, we also had some firsts:

1.  This was our first Christmas that no one was sick.  A true Christmas miracle!
2.  Even though there were moments of crying, I'm pretty sure it was our first Christmas when no one spent the entire day crying.  I swear, Magsy spent her first 3 Christmases crying, and it was super annoying.  
3.  First Christmas season since getting married that I won't travel at all.  And since my family came to see me, I didn't miss out on anything!
4.  First Christmas in our new home.  Epic.  
5.  First Christmas in about 20 years that I wasn't asked to sing at ANYTHING.  My ego is a little crushed.  But the busy-mom side of me quite enjoyed sitting back and relaxing.  
6.  First year neighbors brought treats over.  We've always had our close friends bring things over, but we received SO much this year, I was totally blow away by how many neighbors reached out to us.

It has been such a great holiday season.  I am looking forward to spending the rest of the holiday on my rear, but the weeks leading up to today have been jam packed with awesomeness.


A ballet recital at the Festival of Trees.





A baby boy in a super cute Christmas sweater.


Piano Recital.



Decorating our new house!  I am obsessed with decorating for Christmas.


A white Christmas!  It just isn't the same without snow, so I have been beyond thrilled the amount of snow we've had.  



A school program.


Delivering Christmas presents to needy families, dressed up as Christmas angels.


A fun Christmas party with Todd's coworkers.


More snow!


TONS of presents!



I ordered personalized cutting boards for my family this year.  They turned out so cute!



I got my first tablet, and am wondering how I ever lived without it.


Sledding in our neighborhood park.  Being able to walk to our sledding destination made sledding about a hundred times more manageable.  I freaking love our new neighborhood!







I sooooo loved hosting my side of the family for some pre-Christmas celebrating!  Ty's heart broke when he found out they wouldn't be here on Christmas Day.


Another Christmas miracle, a decent family photo!


Brandon continued to rock his Christmas sweater all season.  


Ty's smile and goofy side prevailed.


We acted out the nativity.



All the kids and dads got blow guns.  I foresee lots of fun in the future.  


We had Christmas mornings to ourselves, which was wonderful and relaxing.  


The kids and I made a blanket for Todd.  They loved helping!  




I got something sparkly....


If your house has to be messy, at least it's Christmas messy!


Bigelow Grandkids.




Brandon wearing his uncle Brian's shoes.  Too cute.  
What an amazing Christmas we've had!