A heart full of gratitude

Many of you know that Bronwyn had her yearly MRI this weekend at Primary Children's.  4 1/2 years after her surgery, she is still cancer free!  I like to think that I get less nervous as the years go by, but my stomach is still in knots each time we walk into the neurosurgery office to get her results.  This morning was no different.  My heart beat irregularly while my stomach did flip flops until I heard the reassuring words that there is no change in her MRI. 

The more time passes, the more I notice the other parents who are carrying the heavy burden of a sick child.  It is easy to pick out the first timers.  Dads who look exhausted and stressed sitting beside their crying wives.  We have spoken to several, and each time we have been right with our assumption that it is their first time there.  I will never forget the feeling of shock and fear during our first few hours being at Primary Children's.  For the first several follow up appointments we had, I would feel the heavy burden as soon as we entered the doors.  To me, the hospital was a place of pain and disappointment.  A constant reminder of the brain surgery we had endured. 

I didn't know which kind of parents we would turn into after that.  Would we be the parents that pushed their bald child through the hallways in a wheel chair with smiles on their faces?  How could there be parents in this place that smiled?  It was a mystery to me.  Or would we be the parents that continued to feel the torture each time they accompanied their child to an appointment or treatment?  Or would we be the parents with the child that recovered? 

This weekend I was talking to my sister in law, Wendy, about the Make A Wish program that she volunteers for.  She recently attended a wish for a young boy with a terminal brain tumor.  The main wish for him was that he would live to see his little sister be born in several months.  My heart broke, because that could have been my child.  There were days that I wondered if Bronwyn would be taken from me before her sister was born, and I wondered how I could ever survive such a heartache.  But I am not the mother who will have to experience that kind of heart break.  I am so blessed. 

As we were leaving the hospital this morning, my girls wanted to throw pennies into the fountain and make a wish.  They decided to wish for the kids who had not received good news this morning, like we had.  In that instant, my heart was filled with so much gratitude for Bronwyn's health.  It has been a hard, stressful, scary road.  And that road will continue for the rest of her life.  But it is NOTHING compared to what so many kids have to endure, and we are so incredibly blessed for the vibrant, healthy child she is. 

I love you, Bronwyn!