Oh how the years go by....

Do you remember that song by Vanessa Williams? 

"Oh how the years go by
Oh how the joy brings tears to my eyes..."

As I contemplate turning 30 this weekend, this song is really ringing true.  How can I be turning 30?!  Remember when a year seemed so long?  Now the years just fly by.  My kids are growing like weeds, and I am aging like one!  (More on that later...)

And the crying, oh the crying!  I used to NEVER cry.  I was so stoic.  I still try to be, but that lump in my throat is really starting to take over.  I was reading "The Giver" last week, and read the phrase "Thank you for your childhood".  This is turn put me into a tail-spin of picturing my children graduating from high school, and me thanking them for their childhoods.  I was flying to Vegas while reading this, and spent the majority of my flight crying as I thought of how quickly my children were growing, and how I am so thankful for their precious childhoods.  Ug, here comes the lump again!  Moving on!

I really should be proud to be 30.  I have reached the expected milestones. 

Loving husband: check

Offspring:  check

Mortgage:  check

Career I love:  check

On the domestic side of things, life honestly couldn't be any better than it is right now!  

I also have some of the greatest friends in the world.  (If you are my friend, and not in any of these pictures, please know that you are included!)

I think I have more friends than I have ever had, and really good friends at that.  They are so fun!  Love you all!  Add in the awesome relationships I have with my family and Todd's family, and I am super blessed.

 

But still, I am getting OLD!  And I don't like it.  I don't like knowing that my physical fitness and beauty have peaked.  It's all down hill from here.  I will now spend the next 30 years trying to stay young.  Exercise, diet, wrinkle cream, and Spanx are my future now.  It's hard to admit that body-wise, things can only get worse.

I also hate knowing that I am getting more prone to disease.  And not to get too down about it, but if I die at the age my dad did, my life is more than half over.  My bones are getting smaller, but my stomach is getting bigger.  For the rest of my life it's just trying to stay balanced and healthy.  It won't get easier, just harder.

And did I miss all the Young Women lessons on enjoying middle age?  Because all I remember are the ones about temple marriage and raising a family.  So now what?  Sure I look forward to being a grandma and traveling with Todd after retirement.  But what about middle age?  Where were the lessons about loving your life even though all your kids are teenagers and hate you?  

This will definitely be an adjustment for me.  

Rationally I know that the next 30 years will bring much joy.  Even now I find myself getting happier and happier the older I get.  So why does it bother me so much to be getting older?  Who knows.

But it sure does bother me!~