If I end up in Hell...

Today I discovered what my own personal Hell would be...  A non-moving line in Walmart.  My shopping experience today was so tortuous, it deserves a blog post before I even upload pics of Christmas and New Year's!

I have always picked the slow line.  I am magnetically pulled to the line that takes twice as long as any other line in the store.  So when I walked to the checkout area of Walmart today and saw that there were at least 5 people in each line, I knew I was in BIG trouble.  I randomly chose one, but kept my perception up as I checked out the lines around me.  Quickly I jumped ship and ran into another line.  Only two before me, SCORE!

While the line started forming behind me, the lady in front of me looked like she was about to go postal as she explained she had been in line for 30 minutes.  The reason for the long wait:
COUPONERS

Now, I know many of my dear friends cut coupons, so don't take offense.  But it seriously takes so long to get through the line with coupons.  And while this woman was happy to waste all of our time so she could get processed food for free, all I could think about was how I would happily PAY DOUBLE for my groceries if it meant I could be at the front of the line!

Without so much as an apologetic look over her shoulder, I honestly feared for this woman's life when, and if, she ever finished paying for her groceries.  The family in front of me was just what you would expect at Walmart:  Frumpy, Sloppy, Loud, Unruly kids, and a cart filled with fruit punch and fritos.  Their behavior alone made me embarrassed to even be there.  I really am going to Hell, aren't I?

I scanned for another line, and to my dismay no one in any of the lines near to me had moved at all either!  Did every line have a crazy coupon lady at the front?  And every cart was filled to the brim.  Was everyone else stocking up for the new year like I was?

I kept waiting for a charismatic TV host to jump out and tell us we were all part of a sick social experiment.  But no, this was real life.  Could there be anything more volatile that a line that doesn't move?

And the only way to bring about the change the world needs is to STOP SHOPPING AT WALMART!

Seriously.  I am willing to pay more for organic foods.  So why am I not willing to pay for them at a different store?  Today I had to literally wait in line to go down the grocery aisles.  I had to search for what I wanted because everything I needed today was in dire need of being restocked.  Then I had to stand in line and risk my blood pressure, just to save a few dollars by shopping in Hell?  I mean Walmart.  Not worth it!

But somehow through all 34 minutes of waiting in line, all 3 of my kids behaved.   This was largely due to the old bag of licorice I found in my purse, leftover from taking the kids to the movies over a week ago.  But still.  No one cried, got in a fight, whined, or had to use the bathroom.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!