With Good Cheer

"Like my father's come to pass

Seven years has gone so fast...."

Every year when another October 18th rolls around, I am surprised at how quickly the time goes by.  Today marks seven whole years since my father's passing.  In a way it still feels like yesterday.  But in other ways, it is becoming a distant memory.  A part of my past, and not my present.   I am reminded of a quote from general conference this year, during a talk about grief.  It said something along the lines of "we never truly get over losing a loved one, but we can move forward with good cheer".  There was definitely a time in my life when I didn't think I could move forward with good cheer, but I am happy to say that I have.  While there will always be a hole in my heart, my life continues to be filled with wonderful blessings.

Seven years ago, I honestly cried EVERY day, multiple times.  Then it went down to once a day, once a week, once a month.  I probably never go much more than a month without getting teary thinking about my dad.  Every now and then I will have a dream about him, and be so happy that my mind can still so clearly recall his face, his voice, his mannerisms.  Holidays and occasions bring about emotional breakdowns as well...

Today my sister texted me some things my dad wrote down about me in some family history sheets he filled out shortly before his death.  It made my day:

List some qualities you admire about your family members-

Daughter Marie-Ange- She has a loving concern for the less fortunate. She is passionate and disciplined in all she does. And I could listen to her sing forever. 

Son-in-law Todd- Solid and uncomplaining. Very supportive of our side of the family. 
Grandbaby Bronwyn- a light in our lives and good therapy for me. 

This is a treasure for me to have.  My dad definitely saw the good in me, which means so much.  Like most parents, he complimented us often and made us feel good about ourselves.  He told me several times that I was the best singer he had ever heard.  Sounds like something any parent would say to their child... but I actually think that he meant it.  I got my love of singing from my dad.  He started taking me to ward choir when I was in grade school.  I loved hearing him sing.  We sang together all the time, and I learned all the oldies he like listening to.  The days before he died, I laid in bed with him and sang him every song I could think of.  It took years before I could listen to the Beatles after he died because he listened to them all the time.  But now when I listen, it fills my heart with sweet memories; and I am now teaching some of their songs to my kids.  

We can move forward with good cheer.  As long as we allow ourselves a few days here and there to cry.  :)