Reflections on my firstborn....

Before I had kids, I assumed they would be like me.  Overall happy and confident, driven, and do well in school.  Then I had Bronwyn.... and I realized that I was really naive.  Not only has she had alot of struggles that I never would have imagined before she was born; but she is so different from me that sometimes the hardest part about being her mom is just knowing how to support her.

Bronwyn's lack of confidence has made it extremely difficult for her to make friends and be in front of people.  We have worked hard on it the last few years.  We have given her lots of tips on how to talk to kids and strengthen friendships and school and church.  We have encouraged her to develop her talents to gain confidence in herself, too.  

Well, this year Todd and I have both seen such a big change in her.  It really started this summer.  Suddenly a new Bronwyn emerged.  I always knew it was in there because I saw glimpses of it often.  And suddenly our little wallflower is making friends, answering questions at church and school, singing out loud, and get this... (wait for it) 

WINNING FIRST PLACE IN THE PTA REFLECTIONS CONTEST!

Yep, you heard me.  Bronwyn entered a dance that she choreographed herself and won!  We are so proud.  Not really that she won.  Of course that is fun and exciting, and gives her an opportunity to learn that hard work pays off.  But proud that she worked SO hard.  She practiced for weeks.  And this is a child who does not exactly have a track record of starting a project and finishing it.

Here is her dance:  

She had NO idea that she had won when I picked her up from school.  It was very fun to see her eyes light up with excitement.  I am so happy for her self esteem.  Bronwyn also entered a picture into the visual arts category that didn't place, but here is a cute picture of her with her picture.

The biggest changes I have seen in Bronwyn that last several months are: more confidence, more outgoing, and more passionate.  Her love of music is growing, and she is enjoying piano alot more this year.  She is even making up her own songs, and ASKING me if she CAN practice piano.  I love hearing her play while I work in the kitchen or feed the baby.  She has an intense interest in bugs and nature, especially butterflies.  She spent endless hours this summer catching butterflies and observing them.  And now almost every book she brings home from the library is about butterflies.  She was the kid that always stayed in the backyard until dark.  The best days for her were when Todd had a yard project that kept him out most of the day.  Magsy and Ty would tire out and come inside, but Bronwyn stayed out until Todd forced her in.  She climbed the cherry tree and hunted bugs!  Here are some great pictures she and Todd got during one of their adventures.

Those are tiny bug eggs Bronwyn discovered on the back of a leaf in our garden.  She was so excited!  For now, she wants to be a scientist when she grows up.  She loves learning about science, and luckily for her, her parents are total science nerds.  

With the progress I have seen in Bronwyn lately, I really feel like the sky is the limit for her.  She is finally working towards her potential and it is so fun to watch!

With Good Cheer

"Like my father's come to pass

Seven years has gone so fast...."

Every year when another October 18th rolls around, I am surprised at how quickly the time goes by.  Today marks seven whole years since my father's passing.  In a way it still feels like yesterday.  But in other ways, it is becoming a distant memory.  A part of my past, and not my present.   I am reminded of a quote from general conference this year, during a talk about grief.  It said something along the lines of "we never truly get over losing a loved one, but we can move forward with good cheer".  There was definitely a time in my life when I didn't think I could move forward with good cheer, but I am happy to say that I have.  While there will always be a hole in my heart, my life continues to be filled with wonderful blessings.

Seven years ago, I honestly cried EVERY day, multiple times.  Then it went down to once a day, once a week, once a month.  I probably never go much more than a month without getting teary thinking about my dad.  Every now and then I will have a dream about him, and be so happy that my mind can still so clearly recall his face, his voice, his mannerisms.  Holidays and occasions bring about emotional breakdowns as well...

Today my sister texted me some things my dad wrote down about me in some family history sheets he filled out shortly before his death.  It made my day:

List some qualities you admire about your family members-

Daughter Marie-Ange- She has a loving concern for the less fortunate. She is passionate and disciplined in all she does. And I could listen to her sing forever. 

Son-in-law Todd- Solid and uncomplaining. Very supportive of our side of the family. 
Grandbaby Bronwyn- a light in our lives and good therapy for me. 

This is a treasure for me to have.  My dad definitely saw the good in me, which means so much.  Like most parents, he complimented us often and made us feel good about ourselves.  He told me several times that I was the best singer he had ever heard.  Sounds like something any parent would say to their child... but I actually think that he meant it.  I got my love of singing from my dad.  He started taking me to ward choir when I was in grade school.  I loved hearing him sing.  We sang together all the time, and I learned all the oldies he like listening to.  The days before he died, I laid in bed with him and sang him every song I could think of.  It took years before I could listen to the Beatles after he died because he listened to them all the time.  But now when I listen, it fills my heart with sweet memories; and I am now teaching some of their songs to my kids.  

We can move forward with good cheer.  As long as we allow ourselves a few days here and there to cry.  :)

Fall Friendship Fest!

Before I get to the topic of the blog, I had to update my two readers on Brandon.  :)  He is already four months old, sitting in his bumbo chair, and cute as can be!

Love love love that squishy face!

Ok, last year I threw the girls birthday parties for the first time.  It was a blast, but left us with waaaaay too many presents.  So this year we decided to do a fall friendship fest instead.  The boys spent all day friday "helping" me get everything ready.  Ty was excited to decorate some cupcakes for himself, grandma, and papa.

I bought a balloon for each girl to draw a jack-o-lantern on, and the boys spent about a half hour on their backs admiring them.

He is so cute when he sucks his thumb.

My heart melted when I saw he had fallen asleep!

OK, onto the party.  We started out with the old eat the donut off the string game.  Kids loved it.  My girls ruled.  

I bought permanent markers for the balloons, so sent the girls outside to color them.  Bad idea.  We quickly lost 2 to the sky, and then they started popping with the pressure of the table and the marker.  There were tears.  It wasn't successful.  

Bronwyn's group came inside for their balloons, and had a lot more success.

I was actually really impressed with the cuteness and creativity of the cupcakes.  My girls are growing up.  Check out Bronwyn's ghost on the far right.  LOVE!

I had each girl bring a friendship bracelet, and it was a fun part of the party.  I stressed out a few moms though.  They thought they had to make the bracelet!  Mine were totally store bought.

It was a really great way to strengthen some friendships at the beginning of the school year.  I'm so glad we did it.  My girls were thrilled, they happily cleaned the entire downstairs after everyone went home!

PS.  He didn't make it into any pics, but Todd came home 3 hours early to help me throw this shindig.  Thank goodness!  The girls were good, but I definitely needed the back up!

Jackson!

The older I get, the harder it is not to live by my family.  I didn't think much about it growing up.  I always assumed Hilary and I would get married and move away from eachother because that is what happened for my parents.  I had NO idea how much I would miss her, and my parents.  So any chance I get to see my family, I take!  This weekend we met everyone in Jackson Hole for a whirlwind of fun.

We rented a cabin, which is soooo the way to go.  We have done it with both families now, and it is a million times better than a hotel.  You have so much more time to hang out, kids can be asleep in their own rooms, and you have a functional kitchen.  Awesome.

Our big excursion was riding the tram up to the top of the mountain.  

Bronwyn wedged herself in between her dad and my mom, seemingly terrified.  However, once we were out of the safety of the tram car and on top of the cliff where we could easily plummet to our deaths, she was fine.  

Sadly, the smoke did interfere with the views.  We could still see everything, and it was beautiful, but lacked in vibrancy.  

I love this shot!  Magsy looks like she is floating in space.  I also love how her jeans that fit perfectly two weeks ago are now high waters!  

The twins and their babies.  :)

We saw lots of adrenaline junkies.  :)

The weather was perfect and the fall color was in full swing.  It was the best day to be outside.

Grandpa Lynn even cruised over to hold the babies and buy us steak for dinner.  I was the weirdo who ordered buffalo ribs and sweet potatoes.  

5 months apart in age, and about one pound apart in weight.  Brandon is such a little butter ball!

He was full of smiles and giggles.  I loved showing him off!  Poor Ruby had the worst night of her entire life.  I felt so bad for Hil and C.  Been there.  

And no trip to Jackson is complete without a picture in front of the arch!  

Like always, our time together was way too short.  But totally worth the 14 hours of driving!  I am now suffering from Ruby withdrawals!

Summer Vacation!

I am soooo behind on my blog.  So tonight I am doing about ten posts in one!  We spent our last two weeks of summer vacationing in Island Park and Orem.  Our first stop was our practice room. We didn't have anyone to take the picture for us, so this was the best we could do with the timer.  This picture is a favorite tradition of mine, and kids were threatened big time for not smiling!

Behind those overgrown bushes is the house I grew up in.  So hard to see the neighborhood not be taken care of.  But here is Brandon underneath the Brandon Dr. sign.  I ran into one of my old Young Women leaders, and it was so great to run into an old friend!

In Island Park, all the Bigelows stayed together in the same cabin.  It was awesome!  Brandon loved all the attention, and it was great to all be under one roof.  We were right on the lake, and spent tons of time boating and playing outside.  

I almost thought Magsy was drowning underneath this trampoline.  Other than that, it was great!

You can barely see Magsy, but everyone but Brandon is on this raft.  We had the BEST time!  We had to beg Bronwyn to give it a try, and then we had to beg her to give someone else a turn.  The girls squealed with joy for hours as their uncles drove them around.

I love my baby!

We had a great day trip to Yellowstone.  Our favorite place was these rocks.  Ty and Mags were a little scared, but Todd and Bronwyn would have climbed all day!  

Show off.

Old Faithful

Seriously, check out those legs!  FAT!

These two just got hitched!

My mom did Susie's hair and makeup for her reception.  What a beauty!

It was great to spend time in Orem with my mom.  The kids were so good, and we had a great time coming up with our new zumba routine.  We also had a fun brunch with a bunch of Ingoldsbys!  It was the perfect way to end Summer.  And we also got the good word that Bronwyn is still cancer free.  Now if only we could get rid of the stomach flu...